Monday, January 18, 2010

Mama Guilt

I am very appreciative to Cop Mama for hosting a series called: Mama Guilt Mondays. This will be my first post in the series and you can read mine and think click on the Cop Mama link to read other mama guilt stories. Guilt is just one of the many joys of motherhood, so it is nice to read that you are not alone!

My guilt this week is that I do not always set a good example for my kids to follow. I am talking about the subtle behaviors. The kind that you don't realize until it is too late that your kids are just exhibiting behaviors that they witness you doing.

My kids have a bad habit of yelling for me or to me. They will be in their playroom and yell across the house to me when they need something. I will, of course, lecture them on the proper way to get up, find me, and ask me their question. While this lecture is coming out of my mouth, inside my head I am hearing myself yell to my husband from across the house, or, yell to the kids from across the house. I am sure their little minds are picturing the same thing, but they are too smart to say it out aloud:)

My oldest son is having a hard time controlling his emotions. His younger brother colors on his masterpiece in progress and he has a complete meltdown. Tears down the cheeks, yelling, falling on the floor. Very dramatic! As I am talking to him about how to use his words and how he needs to control his emotions, I am picturing myself speaking passionately to my husband (or what others might call YELLING) or slamming the doors of the kitchen cabinet in a passive aggressive way or crying because something hasn't gone my way. I can be quite an emotional mess at times and I am very guilt ridden that my son has inherited my inability to control his anger/fear/sadness, etc.

Although my kids witness a lot of good behaviors from me, they also get to witness the bad. I need to do a better job of realizing that those little eyes and ears are always upon me. Looking to me to demonstrate how I would want them to behave. If they could only do as I say not as I do, this parenting thing would be a lot easier:)

Ah! So nice to get that off my chest! Thank you, Cop Mama:) Click on this link (Cop Mama) to read other guilt stories and/or to add your own. Or, simply add your guilt in my comments.



  1. I hear ya! I struggle so hard not to yell, then turn around and get on my 3 year old for not using his "inside voice." Now, when he yells, I ignore him and eventually he stops and uses a normal tone (sometimes :-)

    I'm glad you linked up. This is exactly why I started the meme, so us moms can read and see how we all struggle with similar issues and we are not alone. Nice to meet you and I'm a follower now!

  2. Thanks for being so ARE a GREAT mom! I struggle with the yelling girlie will tell ME when I need the naughty corner!

  3. I am so guilty of the exact same thing. I feel so bad for getting on to the kids for doing something when my husband and I were probably doing the same thing earlier.

    Thanks for sharing your mama guilt with us all!

  4. It's tough to be on stage all the time with an audience who pays rapt attention to every misstep you make. I just have to remind myself that I'm human too, and it's important that my children recognize that. So, sometimes when I catch myself behaving not so great, I'll stop and vocalize that "Mama should make a better choice." Even adults make mistakes and can learn from them--at least that's the message I hope I'm sending. :-)